IFS Therapy in Boulder
Have you ever caught yourself saying, “Part of me wants to… and part of me really doesn't”?
Most of us talk this way without thinking about it. Part of me is ready to leave. Part of me is terrified to. Part of me knows I'm overreacting, and part of me can't stop.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) takes that everyday language seriously. It's a gentle, compassionate approach to therapy built on a simple idea: your mind is made up of different parts, and every one of them, even the ones you'd rather get rid of, is trying to help you in some way.
I offer IFS therapy in person in Boulder and online throughout Colorado, for individuals and couples.
What Is IFS?
There are no bad parts. Just parts carrying heavy loads.
IFS was developed by psychologist Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. It sees the mind a bit like a family: a group of different parts, each with its own feelings, beliefs, and job to do.
Some parts work hard to protect you. Maybe it's the inner critic that pushes you to be perfect, the part that keeps you busy so you don't have to feel, or the part that shuts down when things get too intense.
Other parts carry old pain, fear, or shame from earlier experiences. Your protectors work so hard because they're trying to keep that pain from overwhelming you.
Underneath all of it is what IFS calls the Self: a calm, curious, compassionate core that every person has, no matter what they've been through. You don't have to build it. It's already there, sometimes just hidden behind parts that are doing their best.
In IFS, we often describe the Self with eight Cs: calm, curiosity, clarity, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity, and connectedness.
The goal isn't to get rid of any part of you.
It's to understand your parts, help them trust you, and let them set down what they've been carrying.
What to Expect in an IFS Session
IFS can sound abstract, but in the room it's pretty down to earth. A session might look something like this:
We start with what feels most alive for you right now: a conflict, a feeling, or a pattern you keep getting stuck in.
I'll help you slow down and notice the part that's showing up. Where do you feel it? What does it want you to know?
Instead of arguing with that part or pushing it away, we get curious about it. What is it worried would happen if it stopped doing its job?
Over time, parts begin to relax. When they do, there's more room for calm, clarity, and choice.
You stay in charge the whole time. We go at your pace, and nothing is forced. You don't need to know anything about IFS beforehand, and there's no way to “do it wrong.” Many people find it surprisingly gentle, even when we're working with hard things.
Sessions are private pay, with superbills and a sliding scale available. See Rates for details.
How IFS Can Help
IFS can be helpful for:
Trauma and the lingering effects of abuse
Anxiety and depression
Harsh self-criticism and perfectionism
Shame and guilt
Feeling stuck in the same patterns
Relationship conflict and attachment wounds
Inner conflict about big decisions
Grief and loss
Feeling disconnected from yourself
IFS also works well with couples. When partners can recognize the parts that take over in conflict, arguments become less about who's right and more about what each person is protecting. Learn more about couples counseling.
My training: I've completed Internal Family Systems Level 1 training through the IFS Institute, and IFS is at the heart of how I work with individuals and couples.
If you're curious whether IFS therapy in Boulder or online in Colorado might be a good fit, I'd be happy to talk it through with you. You don't need to have it all figured out first.
