Couples Counseling in Boulder
Most couples don't come to therapy because they've stopped caring. They come because they care a lot, and the same painful argument keeps happening anyway.
Maybe you've had the conversation so many times you could recite both sides. Maybe one of you wants to talk it through and the other shuts down. Maybe there's been an affair, or a betrayal that's hard to even name. Maybe you're opening your relationship, or already have, and it's stirring up more than you expected. Maybe you're not sure whether you're trying to stay together or learning how to part with care.
Or maybe nothing is wrong, exactly. You just miss each other.
Couples therapy can be a place to slow down and actually hear each other.
I offer couples counseling in person in Boulder and online throughout Colorado, for partners in every kind of relationship.
Neither of You Has to Be the Bad Guy
Most conflict isn't really about the dishes. It's about what the dishes mean.
When we feel hurt or unseen, we protect ourselves. One partner pushes harder to be heard; the other pulls back to keep the peace. Each move makes sense on its own, and together they become a loop that leaves both people feeling alone.
I'm not a referee, and I won't be picking sides. My role is to help you both get curious about the pattern, so it becomes something you face together instead of something you use against each other.
That means we can talk honestly about the things that feel too charged to bring up at home.
You don't have to agree on what happened.
You don't have to arrive with the right words.
You don't have to be equally sure about being here.
And you don't have to decide yet whether this relationship is forever.
We can start with where you actually are.
How I Work With Couples
My approach draws on Internal Family Systems (IFS) and attachment theory. What that means practically:
We'll notice the “parts” that take over in conflict, like the critic, the one who goes quiet, or the one keeping score, and get to know what they're protecting.
We'll explore how early attachment experiences show up in the ways you reach for, or away from, each other.
We'll slow down the moments that escalate, so you can respond from a calmer, clearer place instead of reacting.
We'll practice saying what you actually need, and hearing it, without it turning into a fight.
It's very common for one partner to be more hesitant about therapy than the other. That's okay. Part of the work is making room for the part of each of you that isn't sure.
Couples sessions are available in 55 and 85 minutes. I'm private pay, with superbills and a sliding scale available. See Rates for details.
Couples Therapy for Every Kind of Relationship
I work with couples navigating:
Communication breakdowns and recurring arguments
Emotional distance and disconnection
Infidelity, affairs, and rebuilding trust
Betrayal and relational injury
Polyamory, consensual non-monogamy, and opening a relationship
LGBTQIA+ relationships
Intimacy and sex that feel hard to talk about
Big decisions: moving in, marriage, kids, or separating
Ambivalence about whether to stay or go
Stress and life transitions that strain the relationship
Married or dating, together for decades or a few months, monogamous or not: you're welcome here.
*If there is physical/emotional abuse, or fear of a partner in your relationship, couples therapy may not be the safest place to start. Please reach out, and we can talk about what kind of support makes sense.
If you're looking for a couples therapist in Boulder or online in Colorado who will meet both of you with curiosity, compassion, and honesty, I'd be happy to talk with you about whether we might be a good fit.
